LA Confidential

The highlight of our first proper day in LA was first thing in the morning when we headed down to Santa Monica beach to be faced with the funfair that to anyone of my generation (and anyone who deserves to be on this planet) is the one and only setting for The Lost Boys! We got up and drove down to Venice Beach and as soon as we walked from the car to the shore line, there it was, that awesome skyline that conjured up so many images of vampires and little Corey Haims that I could hardly contain myself, in fact, it would not have felt out of place if someone had started sweetly singing in my ear 'when you're strange...faces come out of the rain..when you're strange'. I was loving that view as soon as I saw it and my only regret on this trip (well strictly speaking not my only regret, but a big regret) was not going back for an evening view and strolling around the dodgy pier waiting for Kiefer Sutherland to come bite my neck! Anyway, after my initial exitement over the big funfair view, I was then overjoyed see Muscle Beach. Man, that place is hysterical. It's exactly as you could imagine it. A path full of roller bladers and then a gym on the beach where the old blokes wear Bill and Ted style tiny tops and spend their days sculpting their guns in the mid day heat, it was awesome! Got slightly embarrased though when, having considered how hot it was that day and had thought to myself, 'man, this is hot enough to melt tarmac', Kev told me to 'step over here'. As I walked over to join him, I couldn't contain my scream as the ground sank below me and for a split second I did think that I had predicted the future and the sun had melted the floor – but no, it was merely a rubber type of tarmac ready for us to fall on while causing no injury to ourselves as we excerted ourselves in the outdoor gym – what an amazing place!

So then, we walked from the beach on to the pier, which was dissappointingly tacky, and then back round again to Muscle Beach. We stopped off along the way when we saw a 'Corndog' sign as I was very keen to try my first meat on a stick. So a corn dog is like a hot dog, covered in a kind of corny bread stuff, deep fried on a stick and smothered in mustard. Having tried my first corn dog, I had to agree with Mary that 'there just aren't enough meats on sticks' (any 'Something About Mary' lovers will know what I mean', for the rest of you, you can just take my word for it – it's a heart attack on a piece of wood, but man it tastes so good). My first Corn dog experience was made that little bit extra special by the Rod Stewart wannabe that passed by and seranaded us with his rendition of 'Maggie May' – in reality, he was some guy in spandex, listening to Rod Stewart on his CD player (yes, CD player people) and dancing his way down Venice Beach while singing at the top of his voice. To give the man credit, if you can't do that on Venice Beach in LA then where can you do it and for a split second I was tempted to join the man!

We then headed back to the car and drove right through Santa Monica (which is a lovely place and not full of vampires at all) and through Beverely Hills right up to Hollywood. We did the tourist thing and went up to the Hollywood sign, took some photos, had a Starbucks, as you do, and then headed back to the hotel. We had a wee rest before heading over to the restaurant that we were meeting Mark and Bobby at. We had met Mark and Bobby in Vietnam, for those of you that don't remember, and I was so excited to see some friendy, familiar faces. Everyone in Fiji had told us we needed to try Mexican food in LA so it was a Mexican place we were meeting the guys. We drove up and pulled into the car park, where some guy stopped us and took our keys and told us he would park our car for us. Now, we knew about Valet parking, but are not posh enough in the UK to have ever experienced it. Here in LA, we though, well, this guy seems to know what he's doing and he's given us a tiny ticket, so it must be OK. For any con artist reading this blog (Mandy, I'm thinking of you lovely, this could make you bucks!!) try heading to America and giving tourists a scrap of paper in exchange for their car keys and then drive off! Honestly, we would not have known the difference! Thankfully, the restaurant was a nice one and the valet parking was genuine and we had the best evening. Meeting up with Bobby and Mark was so good. It makes such a difference when you can hang out with people you get on with and you don't have to spend the whole evening doing the whole 'ah, so yeah, I've been traveling for.... months, and I've been to this many places....etc'. We could just sit and have a really delicious meal and just chat. The night went too quickly and we were sad to leave (but also, slightly releaved to see our car again!).

The next morning we got up and headed to Univeral Studios. It was a boiling hot day and so we were happy to see that, once our bags had been searched, the queue to get in wasn't that long. We hadn't anticipated the ridiculous amount of time it took to serve each person here though and we were still waiting there about an hour later. Eventually, we paid our £70 and went in to the famous Universal Studios. For Kev, this was meant to be the highlight of America. He's worked in films for many years and has memorised every line of every film he's ever watched for the last 29 years, so for him, this was the big one. We started our trip by going on the set tour. Despite a slight blip in seating arrangements on the train when some rude family told us we were in the wrong seats – which we weren't, but hey, they were more annoying than us so we moved, we took our places and started the tour around the studios. We were a little dissapointed that the majority of the film sets were super old and not that interesting. In fact, I would say, the Desperate Housewives set was the most interesting bit, oh and the War of the Worlds one too, although passing by a airplane wreck made out of a real airoplane was slightly disconerting as we still have two flights to go!

After the tour we needed something to perk us up and the Jurassic Park ride was just the thing to do it. So we hopped on to the rollercoaster and for the first 5 minutes we were bored stupid as we were ferried around the 'Jurrassic Park', while fake dinosaurs spat freezing cold water on us (let me just clarify that LA in the sun is roasting, but as soon as your in shade, it's freezing, so this ride chilled us to the bone). The last 30 seconds of the ride was awesome though as we were dropped over a 90ft drop into water, which was awesome, althought not sure whether Kev's jeans were wet from the ride or wet from his fears by the end of it, just kidding, just kidding!!

We were then going to go and see a show at the 'Waterworld' arena, but as we stood in the queue, I started to wonder whether it was really worth it, as we didn't have loads of time and there was probably so much to see. Kev agreed and we left the queue, only to find out that there really isn't that much to see at Unviersal Studios. There's far less rides than we thought and basically, it's just a big theme park full of themed eating establishments. Wandering around made us realise why the 'all you can eat' tickets were so popular! We went to one last show at the Terminator 2 arena, which was a 3D show – it was OK but pretty outdated to be honest.

We headed back to the car and then began our drive to Anaheim. The drive should only have taken us 40 minutes, but in LA traffic, it took us about 2 hours. The traffic here is just crazy! Despite having 6 lanes on each side of the freeway, you still get stuck in traffic jams worse than the M8 in Glasgow! Finally, we arrived at our motel in Anaheim and despite looking like the location for an horrific horror movie, it was an OK place.

We didn't have time to dwell on the torturous things that might happen to us in that room (and for anyone who has seen 'No Vacancy'...spot on!). Before we knew it, it was time to get a taxi to Disneyland – now there's a sentence I never thought I'd say. Disneyland was about half a mile from our hotel, but you just can't walk anywhere here, it's not cut out for walking, so instead we had to pay like $13 to get a taxi. Disneyland was another bright light area prepped for toursits but with very little more than more themed eating establishements. We found our way to the House Of Blues, catching another cheeky corn dog on the way, and sat and had a drink while the queue for the gig went down.

Later we went into the House of Blues, passed the security. I loved it..I'm used to going to gigs and having my bag searched for drugs or a cheeky bottle of Vodka, or something along those lines....but this time, the security guy opened my bag and asked 'maaam, do you have any pepper spray in here'... I replied in my best English accent 'I'm sorry?'. To this the security guard asked...'Maam, Pepper spray, do you have any'...'why no', I exclaimed 'are you allowed that stuff here?' He smiled and moved me on, but it made me laugh to think that he didn't care if I had a AK47 packed away in there, as long as there was no pepper in a can'.

There were a couple of bands on before Thrice, who we had tickets to see, so we stood somewhere near the bar while we waited. Kev was getting annoyed with the whole, tipping a dollar every time you get a drink thing and the cost of drinking was adding up. We noticed that literally, and I mean literally, every bloke in the venue had a checked shirt on and I started wondering whether Thrice had started a new checked shirt cult that I hadn't been invited to. Kev went off to the toilet and some bloke comes up to me and says 'hey... I love your different style man'. I replied, 'what do you mean, different style?', he said 'no, it's just you look cool and I think everyone should be an individual..it looks cool'. I restrained myself from saying 'uh, well if you think everyone should be an individual then why are you wearing the uniformed checked shirt'. Anyway, needless to say, I was outraged by the fact that, even though this guy was trying his hardest to pay me a backhanded compliment, I was being considered as 'out of fashion'. Now, I've never been one to follow fashion and I've always prided myself on having my own style but this was different – I suddenly felt like the outcast at school who someone was feeling sorry for! It annoyed me more than anything and I wanted to shout from the rooftops that the dress I was wearing was from Japan where everyone was way cooler than anyone in that room. Thankfully, I couldn't get on the rooftops and the moment passed and Kev returned from the toilet.

At last Thrice came on to the stage and I despite not being able to see very well, I insited I didn't want to go further forward in case the crowd kicked off when the music started. I really needn't have worried as gigs in LA are not like gigs back home. The majority of the concert involved men swaying from side to side, it was horrendous! Thrice were OK but not like they were back home when I've seen them so we were disappointed and wished we had taken Bobby and Mark up on their Taco Tuesday invite.